Peoples, Values, Lifestyles of Hawai'i

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Melting Pot

(Excerpt from A Newcomer's Guide to Hawaii)

Getting Along: Attitudes, Do's and Don't's

Some Suggestions:

How do you adjust to the differences, the multifaceted acceptance and alienation, and the competing interests that make up modern Hawaii? How do you do this and remain alive to the astounding beauty of life and the unparalleled spirit of aloha and cooperation that sets Hawaii apart from other mixed societies around the globe?

A neighbor who has resided in Hawaii most of his life answered this way: "You get along here when you go beyond putting up with differences, and even beyond accepting them, and you actually start valuing them. Sometimes the closest you can get to people with different backgrounds and traditions is to glimpse how very different you are without wishing to make them like yourself."

Which leads to the other side of differences: human similarities. The same qualities that create friendship and cooperation anywhere also apply here. One key to getting along is th convey the same attitudes to others that you wish them to extend to you. If this all sounds like a mini-course in human relations, you've got the point. Treat people as if they mattered just as much as you do. This does not mean dripping with emotion or being overeager. It does mean attending to simple things, such as how well you listen, how you respond when asked to bring food to a party or game (your response will often be more carefully observed thatn you think), how you assume the best when you could interpret things negatively, and so forth. And don't be surprised to find that many locals are cautious and guarded towards those not of their own background. When you sense these attitudes, remember that history has given them good reason to feel this way.

Local people do not see themselves as "natives" and do not like being called that, or hearing innuendos that mean the same thing. They are proud of their identities and sensitive to negative comments, even when indirect, ignorant, or well-intended. For instance, almost all newcomers at some point have the urge to enlighten their local friends and neighbors as to how something is done on the mainland. This may happen at a PTA meeting, a community association meeting, or a more casual gathering. Often, newcomers expect to impress others by sharing their wisdom with the local people. But the effect is just the opposite. The newcomers look as if they think they are superior. Does this mean that you can't make suggestions? No. But find a way that doesn't make you look good at the expense of others. Keep in mind, too, that if you open your eyes you'll find countless ways of doing things here in the Islands that could benefit others. Not the least of these is our tolerance, patience, and willingness to accept others the way they are and to find solutions that are mutually satisfying.

Local people appreciate newcomers who adapt to their ways and, to some extent, they expect this as the price of getting along. Here, for example, are the comments of two Hawaiian friends, both of whom were born and grew up in Hawaii, graduated from college, and lived several years on the mainland before returning permanently to the Islands. When asked "What would you tell newcomers about getting along in Hawaii?" one responded:

When new people come from the mainland, they want to get involved in the community, but at the meetings they state their views aggressively, the way they've learned to. They don't understand how the local people think on some issues. But they speak in their minds, not like the locals do. So sometimes it almost winds up physical.

A newcomer needs to practice a little restraint in the way he/she speaks if he/she wants to fit in. Otherwise he/she may get his/her way, but the locals will close up and not have anything to do with him/her.

We have some haole teachers out her that have been here a long time -- longer than me in this place. They're used to hearing our kids vent their feelings against certain groups (mostly haoles), so they know how the local people feel, but they get over that and stay around. People know they're not just here for a short time to buy real estate. They know how to blend in, know how to walk into a lu'au without attracting attention or sending messages, "I'm from outside."

Another friend, a woman, said this:

When they come here, people need to change their idea of time. They should slow down a bit, not always be rushing through things. Also, they should not always be rushing through things. Also, they should not always assume a bad judgement if they have a run-in with local people. You really need to be aware of local history and politics to know why local people react the way they do. People shouldn't draw conclusions that someone doesn't like them if they seem unfriendly at first. Sometimes it carries over from earlier times when the haole was always the boss and the Hawaiian or immigrant was the laborer. The white man was the luna [superior, foreman]. A lot of resentment was built up.

Around here, everything used to be plantation. When they shut down the plantation, lots of people lost jobs. Now they are slowly developing the land, but the local people can't afford it. They worked it, but only outsiders with money can afford to move in. Local people see this and it gives them a bad taste for the people who do move in and buy.

This doesn't mean locals automatically don't like newcomers, but sometimes they seem unfriendly at first to see what the reaction will be. In the locals, the heart is always there, but it just needs to be reached first.

Even local people can get tested like this. When I taught on one part of the island, kids and parents were hard on me at first. I'm part Hawaiian and thought I was, coming with a college degree and nice clothes to tell them how to live. Did I think I was better than them, or what? I had to spend a lot of time with the kids, make home visits and play with the chickens and such to break down the barriers.

What's a Haole?

Not every newcomer is a mainland haole, but this group makes up the majority of newcomers. Their experiences are similar to those of many new arrivals. A... study [entitled] The Mainland Haole: The White Experience in Hawaii describes how many haoles adjusted to life in the islands.

The study found that one major factor in the newcomer's adjustment is indeed the tension between expectations and reality. Unlike tourists, who spend two weeks securely isolated from day-to-day living, the resident newcomer confronts traffic, bugs, and work conditions that wear away the imagery of paradise. Even to consider oneself an "immigrant" is a shock to many haoles. Until their move, they've usually been the dominant group, so they see themselves as mainstream and others as ethnic. In Hawaii, Caucasians are just one of many groups and don't necessarily hold the winning cards in education, business, and politics. Consequently, they must learn to find their sense of belonging from something other than being the powerful majority.

Hawaii challenges newcomers to develop new concepts of time and place- and even of their own bodies and skin color. Many people report that after moving to Hawaii, they still found themselves rushing at the old pace, checking items off a list... yet becoming aware that they were actually losing time in their hyperactive lives. Many newcomers also describe a change in the way they see the landscape. At first they see the land as a scenic attraction and as real estate to be owned and developed; after a few years in Hawaii, they see it as beautiful and fecund life-giver, a sacred trust which, once "developed", may be lost, or even desecrated.

A final shock for new residents comes when they realize that they symbolize to many locals much of what has gone wrong in Hawaii- too many people, traffic, commercialization, and the loss of island culture.

Frictions and stresses of daily life exist in Hawaii as elsewhere. But, because newcomers find themselves in a new setting and sense their difference from the island people, they may erroneously perceive the frictions as personal affronts. Often, a period of disillusionment follows their initial enthusiasm. Then their enthusiasm returns, but much changed. They have learned how other people think and feel, so they now take part in island life as long-term citizens, not short-term spectators.

Do's

  • Do take a gift with you when you visit someone. No need for something grand or impressive. A little food will do. Observing this local tradition will mark you as a caring and sharing person.
  • Do observe people around you. Without staring or being conspicuous, watch people interact to get a sense of their ways and rhythms of life.
  • Do slow down a bit. Be patient in explaining what you want from others and in listening to their response. Try not to communicate that you and your objectives are more important than they are.
  • Do be actively friendly. Greet others in a friendly, polite way, even if they don't greet you.
  • Do offer to share things: food, time, tools, expertise.
  • Do join local service and social organizations: scouting, band booster groups, neighborhoor associations, civic clubs, auxiliaries, and so forth.
  • Do take the initiative in inviting people to your place or sending food over to theirs.
  • Do be yourself.
  • Do relax.

Don't's

  • Don't be overeager. Don't glad-hand everyone in sight. Don't act like you've got to master all local customs by sundown. Instead, make a friend first and let your friend show you what he or she considers important.
  • Don't show off. Most local people detest arrogance and loudness in newcomers. Assuming that you learn from this book, show how much you have learned by not parading it.
  • Don't start thinking that the Islands are on trial. A person who has been offended may unconsciously begin judging everyone and everything around, and usually with a "guilty" verdict. It's much wiser initially to consider yourself on trial.
  • Don't assume you have to speak pidgin to get along. Most newcomers that try their pidgin wings sound foolish, Locals think of pidgin as their insider language. They are flattered but embarrassed when newcompers ape local speech to fit in.
  • Don't try to change the people of Hawaii. If you have something to teach them, let it come through your actions and not through your mouth.
  • Don't look for fights. If you are young and male, don't get in a starting match with a local guy. Guaranteed, the staring won't last very long. Local young men take deliberate eye-to-eye contact as a challenge unless you know them or are already talking.
  • Don't honk in traffic when you get impatient and want to play cop. Use your horn for danger.

Pidgin

Wassamattah you? Cannah talk da kine? (What's the matter? Can't you speak pidgin?)

Pidgin, as you no doubt will find out soon after arriving, is the local language -- not so much of a big business or public affairs, but of everyday give and take among the Hawaii born. Its colorful phrasing and intonation are as much a part of the local landscape as plumeria trees and curling waves. You may react to it with distaste or delight. Before your reactions harden and you decide just how much of the local lingo you're going to master, consider the following viewpoints of long-time residents.

Knowing a few phrases will help you understand and fit into the flow of life in Hawaii. You'll capsize from time to time without it. But don't feel you need to master pidgin in order to get along. In trying to use it without knowing it inside out, you may create as much embarassment as anything. Most locals are proud of the power of pidgin. It is an attractive, distinctive cultural statement, but they don't see why newcomers need to sound like them. In fact, a haole's imitation of local intonation and lingo can seem patronizing and phony. So be yourself. Talk your own language, butknow enough words and phrases to help you understand others and communicate clearly. How much you will need will depend on where you work and what neighborhood you live in.

If you have children, they will most likely come home from school or play speaking a little pidgin. Don't insist on correct English out of fear that their language is going to pot. They are just learning to fit in with their playmates and are fully capable of learning and using one language among friends and another at home. Most children's language abilities are not restricted by their use of pidgin. On the contrary, their familiarity with it is linguistic enrichment.

Some language purists view pidgin as an inferior, broken English, but this is not so. What we call pidgin, linguists call Hawaiian Creole English. Linguists do use the term "pidgin" to refer to a simplified, imcomplete version of another language, but that is not what we have in Hawaii. A true pidgin can result when immigrants of various language backgrounds must communicate with each other and so adopt a broken version of a common language, such as the language of the bosses. A pidgin, in this sense, was spoken by many first-generation immigrants who worked Hawaii's sugar and pineapple plantations. A creole language, on the other hand, is similar to a dominant language on which it is pattered but has its own unique vocabulary and syntax. In other words, it is a language in its own right.

Pidgin grew out of the need to communicate among immigrant labor forces and plantation overseers. At first, the common medium of communication was built out of a small vocabulary of English and Hawaiian with the barest minimum of grammar. First-generation immigrants often have retained this kind of pidgin throughout their lives and still speak it when they can't talk their native language. Their children fashioned Hawaiian Creole English -- what we now usually call pidgin. Since children of immigrants often attended school with children of other language backgrounds, and sometimes came from homes in which parents spoke different languages, their natural language-learning abilities molded a language based on English but with some rules of its own. Linguists have found that Hawaiian Creole English has features found in other creole languages arising in similar circumstances. This fact has made our pidgin a topic of study because linguists believe that it reveals certain universals about how humans create and use language.

Pidgin has helped maintain the local sense of difference and identity. Proficiency carries the message: "I'm on my own turf, among my own kind." Whereas pidgin was considered low class for decades after it arose, it is now frequently used in politics and negotiations. Alocal business leader and labor negotiator commented on how pidgin can break the white boss/local laborer barrier:

You use it to make a point. Like when we're in union negotiations. At those meetings you don't want to come across as the BIG WHITE BWANA talking to the local spearchuckers. They (the union negotiators) tend not to be as tense if you can come across as another local guy who can say, "I was born as raised here, like you."

You can hardly miss a picking up a basic vocabulary of pidgin (almost everyone uses a little, and it frequently appears in advertising), but you might not pick out some of the verbs and structures that govern pidgin sentences. So here is a comparison between English and pidgin. Note that "wen" or "bin" is used often to create past tense for verbs, "stay" for present or progressive (ongoing) time, and "go" for future.

English Pidgin/Hawaiian Creole English
The two of us had a hard time raising dogs. Us two bin get hard time raising dog.
John and his friends are stealing the food. John-them stay cockaroach the kaukau.
He doesn't want to play because he's lazy. He lazy, 'a'swhy he no like play.
How do you expect to finish you house?

How you expect for make pau you house?
It would have been better if I'd gone to Honolulu to buy it. More better I bin go Honolulu for buy om.
The man who was going to lay the vinyl had quoted me the price. They gon' lay the vinly bin quote me price.
There was a woman who had three daughters. Bin get one wahine she get tree daughter.
She can't go because she hasn't any money. She no can go, she no more money, 'a'swhy.